Keeping Your Faith That Is Gone
by Hope is an inspiration
Summary: Elena tries to commit suicide a month after Stefan left. Rated T for scenes with violence, mild language, and possibly a shirless Damon and/or Stefan. Read,review, and enjoy!
1. Dear Everyone Whos Ever Touched My Heart

**Chapter One**

**Dear Everyone Who's Ever Touched My Heart**

_A new fanfic about after Stefan left. Just try it, and review tell me if I should continue. This story is dedicated to all those who evertthought of commiting suicide. I hope you realize that there's always someone out there who cares, and that things do get better._

_Disclaimer: I don't own the Vampire Diaries_

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><p><em>Dear Everyone Who's Ever Touched My Heart,<em>

_It ' been a month since Stefan left, and you told me never to give up hope. But how can I not? He's gone, and I know that. Everyone's always taken away from me, in some shape or form, and I can't stand but think it s all my fault. So I'm not going to ruin everyone's lives anymore. Please don't miss me, because I'm doing this for you, please don t hate me, because I'm doing this for you. And please don't think you could have stopped me, because you couldn't have known I was going to do this. I love you all, and I hope because I am no longer here, you've found some happiness again, because you all deserve it._

_Love you all always,  
>Elena<em>

Elena stopped writing, her hand shaking. She'd never thought of committing suicide before. Sure, she ' been a martyr, but never did she want to die for herself. Although she didn't say so in the note, it was more for herself than them. There was a hole, slowly swallowing her, suffocating her, and it had finally won. The cloud of despair was killing her, and she needed to kill it before it could get any harder. The saying, it can't get any worse, had never applied to her life, because it always did get worse.

She picked up the knife, the silver blade glittering and shining in the fluorescent lights of the bathroom, which was locked tightly on all exits, so she 'd defiantly be dead by the time anyone got the key and unlocked the door. She took a deep breath, prepping herself to cut that deep lying vein in her wrists, so she could finally disappear forever. She was aware of how she was wasting the gift of life her father had given her, not only the day he died, but the day Isobel conceived her. But it didn't matter. This was the end, because life was too hard to stand.

She cut deep into her skin, layer by layer, the pain overtaking her like a wave, but she kept on going, red flowing from her wrists rapidly, without ceasing. She soon felt dizzy and nauseous, and then lightheaded, as the floor became closer, and then the world disappeared forever.


	2. What Were You Trying To Do?

**Chapter 2**

_I got told to continue, and I will, though the chapters will be short, so hopefully I can get one out a day! Read and Review, please._

He could smell the strong scent of blood from a mile away, and knew it was hers. Although in a meeting with Mrs. Lockwood, Damon rushed over, fearing the worst. And that's what he found after he bust down the door after calling out, "Elena!" Several times, before knocking it down and finding Elena, beaten, broken and in a heap.

He picked her upper body up, kneeling beside her, and begging the world for her to be alive, "Elena! Please!"

He saw the bloody note, but did not pick it up, for she was more important at the moment, with her weakened pulse, which brought tears to his eyes, knowing he had a chance. He wasted no chance bringing his wrist to his mouth and biting hard, so blood flood readily and in an abundance. He shoved it in her mouth, tipping her head back. "Drink." He saw her swallow, and sighed in relief, "Good, keep swallowing, Elena, it's going to be okay. "

His reassuring voice wasn't for her, but for himself, letting him know that she'd be okay, alive. Still holding her, he picked up the note, and read it. By the end of the letter, his teeth were clutched together and he was holding her in a death grip, never wanting to let her go or out of his sight again. "How could you….?" He trailed off, imagining what would have been if he hadn't gotten there in time to save her. "Damn it, Elena."

Just then, she started to come to, as if still in a dream world, the fog slowly lifted. "Oww…" She mumbled, trying to sit up, but ended up falling backwards back into Damon. "Damon?" She said tiredly, weakly.

"Careful." He said, keeping his voice controlled. "You lost a lot of blood….vampire blood can't make up for the amount you lst, it can only heal your injuries and provide enough blood for you to survive."

"Oh…." She said, waking up a little, "I'm alive?"

Damon nodded, "What were you trying to do Elena?" He suddenly shouted, "I read the not, why would you think that?"

"Damon." She said softly, carefully. "Listen to me."

And he did.


	3. Every Word I Say Is True

**Chapter 3 **

**Every Word I Say Is True**

_Read and Review, bitte (please in German…..)!_

"I couldn't reach him." Jeremy said, sighing, and standing in the doorway of Elena's room. Damon was sitting on her bedside, keeping an eye over her as she slept, exhausted from fatigue that had never gone away after all the deaths in her life, and from blood loss.

Damon motioned for him to be quiet and enter the room, then he whispered, nodding, "I know, I tried to reach him a few minutes ago. I think he's really gone, Jermemy, and I don't expect him back, so we have to handle this without him. Did you call Bonnie and Alaric?"

Jeremy nodded, looking at Damon with a confused, serious look, "What's going on Damon? What happened?"

Damon sighed, thinking of excuses, btu then he realized that none of them would be right, and none of them would help her. Which is what Damon knew she needed, help. "Go look in the bathroom Jeremy."

Jeremy walked over, swiftly but uneasily because he wasn't sure what to expect. So he just stared at what he found, "Is Katherine back?" He was referring to the fact that the last time Katherine had came back, she stabbed John with a stake, you maybe if she came back, she did the same but to another person.

Damon shook his head, handing Jeremy the bloodstained not, which Jeremy took with cautious hands. He was scared of what he might find, fearfull of his life falling more to ruin than it already was. But what he read surprised him, and sent the worst chiil he'd ever felt in his life, run through his body, "No, she wouldn't-"

Damon put his finger to his lips, silencing Jeremy, who hadn't noticed that his voice was rising, "Denial isn't good for anyone, Jeremy." He whispered after a moment, before turning to stroke Elena's cheek and drink the alcohol he'd brought with him from the Lockwoods.

Jeremy rolled his eyes, "You sure she didn't just try to make it seem like a suicide?"

Damon pondered it for a moment, "Who?"

"Katherine."

Damon sighed, shaking his head wearily," Elena slit her wrists, Jeremy, see." He lifted Elena's hands for Jeremy to see the thick red line on her wrists, the wounds that had not yet completely healed. His voice shaking, Damon finished what he was saying, " She tried to kill herself."

Jeremy nodded solemnly as the doorbell rang, "That must be them." And he silently climbed down the stairs.


	4. Try To Understand

**Chapter 4**

**Try To Understand**

_Read and Review Please_

Stefan got the message, from halfway around the world, sent from Damon, saying that there was an emergency, and that he needed to get home, because Elena's life hung in the balance. And knowing that he was needed to her, that she wouldn't be there if he didn't rush the hell over, was all it took for him to decide to escape.

He planned it for when Klaus was going to collect girls at the local bar to take over to him. He snuck out of the hotel room, got a taxi, and went to the nearest airport, getting the earliest flight he could. Then he hid in the boy's bathroom until he needed to get on the plane, fearing Klaus may be at the airport. The rest was easy.

Arriving back in Mystic Falls, was different this time than the rest. He dreaded with all his heart coming back because he didn't have many reasons or excuses for where he was and why. But he couldn't just let her die, not Elena.

He entered the boarding house first, putting his stuff down on his bed and taking a deep breath before leaving the unusually empty boarding house. Then he headed to the Gilberts.

His senses now attuned to the smell of blood and humans, he could smell the copper flavored blood a mile away, and from there ran as fast as his feet could take him, finding Elena sitting up in bed, and Jeremy and Damon talking over her, "What's going on?"

"Stefan?" The voice was a little ore than a whisper coming from Elena's agape mouth, the girl who just stared at him with pure sadness, and no accusation whatsoever. Those eyes of hers filled up with tears, tears she hadn't cried since that day with Damon, because she'd decided they made her weak.

"I'm here." He said, sitting on the edge of the bed next to her, he stroked her cheek.

"Stefan." It was a sob, causing him to pull her into a hug.

"Shh…" He said, "It's going to be okay." Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her hands, wrapping around him, scared in red. "What happened?" He asked Jeremy and Damon, who were equally astonished to see him, but not bursting into tears.

"She…" Jeremy couldn't manage the words, for he was finally seeing a faint smile on Elena's lips. One he hadn't seen in well more than a month, and one that made him unable to spill the news.

"Elena…she…" Damon was unable, also, in shock after seeing his brother.

"I'll tell him." Elena said, "You guys have done enough for me…." Then she struggled, more tears flowing, "Things were just so hard, Stefan, you have to try to understand."

"Try to Understand what?" Fear raced through Stefan's veins.


	5. Too Deep of A Cut

^^Keeping Your Faith That Is Gone^^

5. Too Deep Of A Cut

Fear raced through Stefan's veins as he said those words,"Try to understand what?" He didn't know what they were so hesitant,so fearful to tell him. And quite frankly, it scared the crap out of him.

"I-I..." It was impossible for her to say those words without stuttering, in the emotional state she was in. She didn't know how to explain how much she'd changed. She didn't know when was the exact moment she decided she no longer wanted to live. "After you left, a piece of me died, Stefan, me trying to end my misery was all I felt I could do."

Stefan nodded weakly before he turned furious. He turned swiftly, his face groaning veiny around his eyes." Damn it, Elena." He said, punching the wall, and breaking through it. He felt sick to his stomach, and just didn't, couldn't understand.

Elena flinched at his harsh tone, so unused to it. She felt tears building in her eyes, because she deserved it all. The harsh comments,yet it didn't make it any easier to endure them all."I'm so sorry." Is all she said.

"You should be." Those were the only words he said to her, and they were like a whip, no a knife, because a wound from a knife only stung less over a less over an extremely long period of time. Whereas the pain from a whip could be short and quick.

All of her wounds were like a knife had cut into her skin, yet she feared some of those wounds would never heal.

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sorry if the last part doesn't make much sense, I'm really tired as I write this. Anyways, review please! I really appreciate it when people do.

Oh, and I really hope that u all realize I don't own TVD, since I so often forget to make a Disclaimer...forgive the girl who has ADHD( and I seriously do)...I forget these things...and review please! 


	6. Don't Make This Our Last Day Together

^^Keeping Your Faith That Is Gone^^

't Make This Our Last Day Together

She didn't know how things had got so hard, how a month could destroy the relationship she and Stefan had shared. But it had. Somehow the distance seemed to have destroyed them both, as was evident when Stefan slammed his hand into the wall.

"Calm down, Stefan, before you do something you'll regret later." Damon said to his brother, putting his hand on Stefan's shoulder as if in shook it off, unused to all the concern and helpfulness after a month without it.

All eyes on him, it took Stefan a minute to do so, to close his eyes, breathe deep, and then open them, his face calmer as he turned to everyone else. " I'm sorry...I just...I can't..." He mumbled, before jumping out the window with grace in his leap.

Elena watched Stefan leave, looking after him with deep agony in her felt as if someone had cut open her stomach and left a deep, gaping building in her eyes, she jumped up until she was in a sitting position, and then attempted to get out of her bed, pulling the blankets aside.

A hand came upon hers as her foot touched the was Damon, his eyes full of concern and worry for both Elena and gave her only one order as he looked into her eyes, his hand warm on hers, "Stay."

And then his hand slipped off hers, as he, too, went to jump out the window, following his younger brother.

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not in the mood to say anything except review!please, I don't care if u don't like it, just tell me what u don't like. I don't mind, and anyone can review, it doesn't matter whether or not u have a ff account. 


	7. Blame

^^Keeping Your Faith That Is Gone^^

7. Blame

Damon followed Stefan into the woods where he found his brother watching a group of campers roast marshmallows around a campfire," Dinner time?" Damon asked.

Stefan shook his head, running a hand through his tousled brown hair. "This is all my fault." he simply said, leaning against a tree as if unable to bear the weight of what he had done. His body ached from the grief of it all, as he fought back the emotions that threatened to come in a wave. He still felt things, he just wasn't ready to feel full force yet, fearing it would all cripple him, shatter him into a million tiny pieces.

"I can't argue with you there, brother." Damon said. He wasn't happy about what Elena had tried to do, and Stefan leaving was the only thing he knew that could have set her off," She needs you."

Stefan's laugh was strangled, and by technical standards not even a laugh but more of a defeated sigh,"I thought she would be alright without me. She was strong."

"Deep down inside, though, she's just a girl." Damon said," And she needs you." He realized it now. He himself couldn't fix Elena. Nor make her happy even though he wanted to more than anything. She was always going to love Stefan, and that was never going to change. All he could do was wish them happiness.

Stefan nodded, taking a step out of the dark woods, and on his way, Damon presumed, to talk to Elena.

Meanwhile, the campers, to Damon at least, were appearing as a scrumptious meal he could not miss out on. Especially not right now when stress had it's bitter claw etched into him and all he could think of was heartbreak. How much it hurt.

Maybe the blood will make it better, he thought, before tearing into the first camper.

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AN: REVIEW PLEASE! I love to write and reviews make my day. So please, Tell me what you think and criticize! 


	8. Keep Your Head Up

**8. Keep Your Head Up**

Stefan went back to Elena's house, where he found her sleeping noiselessly in her bed, her skin a pale white, her mouth a line curving downwards. She looked so peaceful, yet so unbearably sad at the same time. He stroked her cheek gently, his touch as light as a feather. He felt the helpless tears build up in his eyes as he watched her resting, yet he fought them back because he needed to say strong, and because he was not the same Stefan as the Stefan who had left her a month ago. This new Stefan would not cry when things got rough. No, he would keep himself looking strong and confident despite how it pained him to see her so sad.

He had thought that when he left with Klaus that Elena would be able to return to normalcy, and Damon would survive. He thought the biggest danger she would then have was if she ever fell for Damon. However, he was wrong because he'd never thought that she'd turn against herself and become a threat to her own self. After everything she'd been through he had thought she would at least have more respect for herself…

He shook his head to keep his thoughts from wandering. It didn't matter what he thought because this was the truth. The truth was the girl he had loved more than anything had just tried to end her life and he hadn't been there.

He felt like such a failure, so useless. Nothing was worthwhile when he hadn't even been there to help her.

He was thinking thoughts so vile to himself, so negative, that he was lost in his own world when she finally came to.

"Stefan?"

AN: So…what'd you think? Someone asked if I was going to continue so heres a new chapter. Read and Review please (R and R)! 3


	9. Say What You Need To Say

^^Keeping Your Faith That Is Gone^^

AN: So it's been nearly a year since I updated, and I'm very sorry about that. I realize no one may read this, but I really hope you do and that you enjoy it. And if you do, please write a review. I may update some other fic soon. Thank you.

**9. Say What You Need To Say**

"Elena." Elena heard Stefan say her name and it was just about the best sound in the world. Full of bells and a sound that she had missed so, so much in their month apart. A tear filled her eye and she wanted nothing more than for him to just hold her, now and forever. "Did you rest alright?"

"Yeah, Stefan, I did." Elena didn't try and even move, because it still hurt to do so and she was a bit woozy. Because of this wooziness she wasn't positive if what she was feeling was all because she missed Stefan or because a part of it may be linked to her self inflicted injury. "I'm not entirely sure what to say." She said after a moment.

She watched as Stefan nodded and exhaled, "I know what you mean."

She closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth of his hand on her face. She knew the question she wanted to ask but it was just so incredibly hard to voice, and she was so very afraid of the answer he would have for her. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hear it. But Elena had always, above all else, been brave and true to herself and everyone. So she decided to take the chance of getting hurt once again when she asked, "Stefan, why did you leave? I know what happened, but why didn't you try something else, anything else to stay?"

With that, she opened her eyes and listened. Listened for the first time in a month to what someone was really saying, because she knew that he would listen to her.


	10. Author's Note

This is just a huge little Author's note rant about what my life has become. I'm now in college and a while ago I just kinda didn't feel any sort of passion towards vampire diaries anymore. I don't know why or what happened, and I still watch it, but I just don't care about Stelena or Delena, I mean they're both great, okay?! But yeah, and I've just been writing a lot of original stuff, because I do want to be a published author one day (it would be a dream come true that I've been working on for more than five years) and with school and the television show Castle (if you've never watched it go do so now) and a bunch of personal crap (oh god there's loads of it, you don't even want to know). I feel like I'm letting so many people down, because I recently found out that people still read my fanfiction, which I didn't expect.

If you want me to update, could you just leave a review or message me, and I'll try and do so when I have some time. As for now, if you are missing my writing and you're interested in reading some of my regular fiction, then visit my fictionpress. It's right here:

u/793595/

:) Hope to talk to you/write fanfiction for you soon!


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